Monday, November 3, 2008

So often I find myself rushing through the day, watching the clock and counting down minutes until my husband comes home from work. It isn't that my life is dull by any means...each day I wake up to a new adventure. I never know what will happen with two very active little boys. Yesterday I was fishing all kinds of stuff out of the toilet, today I found out in a very painful way that my 2 year old likes to bite. There are many adventures that drain my energy and leave me longing for the nearest Starbucks. But each day I find joy in the little things. My two year old, who had a rough start with many, many months of crying and sicknesses, is starting to finally come around. Minor conflicts that used to cause huge meltdowns are now starting points for a lesson learned and a great big hug. No one appreciates this more than I. Today when I went upstairs to get my son up from his nap, he shot me the biggest grin from his crib and scooped up all his crib essentials ---his stuffed animals and his blankets (which he carries around the house all day) and he let me hold him for about 30 seconds. Half a minute is all, but for him to sit still that long was worthy of me noting it in his little history book. He hugged me like a baby chimp holds his mommy---I could have let go and he would have still been in the same place, clinging to me. I squeezed him as much as I could without causing him discomfort and inside I just melted. I gave him a kiss on his cheek which was still warm from cuddling on his mattress with all his blankies. I sniffed the sweet smell of his oatmeal baby wash that was still fragrant on his skin from his morning bath. I carried him and his 2 blankets, his stuffed doggie, stuffed elephant, and his book down the stairs...taking my time of course. I knew that the moment he saw his brother playing with toys, or the train track that he was busy playing with before naptime, I would lose that moment. And I need to enjoy it while it lasts. In the matter of days he will be done with his crib, he will protest when I call him "my little baby" and his diaper that I love to pat as we walk will be replaced with big boy underwear. He will be too heavy for me to carry and, just as his brother did, he will say "I like to walk, I don't want to be carried." Just as the days are getting shorter with less of that beautiful sunshine, my days of having a baby are coming to an end. Each phase brings with it more joys, but I know that these times are to be treasured---I know they will be missed.

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